Michel Quoist
MEET CHRIST AND LIVE!

translated by J. F. BERNARD
GILL AND MACMILLAN

22. The Christian in action

What is the value of my actions compared to the incredible amount of work that must be done in the world? This question first carne to my mind a few days ago. I don't recall what happened to make me think of it. Since then, the idea has preoccupied me. It sits on my conscience like an undigested meal sitting on my stomach. And, like a corrosive acid, it has gradually affected the whole of me, dOWl1 to the roots of my being. Now, I'm dissatisfied, disturbed, discouraged. A single conclusion seems inescapable: I am accomplishing absolutely nothing.
I see the world around me with its enormous problems. If I need to be reminded of those problems, I have only to look at the newspapers. They are full of them. Hundreds of millions of human beings do not have enough to eat. They live in miserable slums. They are illiterate. And they are exploited by their brothers. Whole nations, unable to bear their suffering any longer, are awakening and beginning to stir. And a few generous souls, and a few madmen, are appearing, beginning to organize and to fight. But they are usually crushed by the forces of 'law and order'. And here I am, so proud of being a 'militant'. I'm nothing more than a child. I worry about painting a room while the whole house is falling down around me. I weed my garden while the city is going up in flames. What can I say?-except that I am accomplishing absolutely nothing.
I was wrong not to stop and think of this sooner. And I was especially wrong not to talk about it with my friends. I've now discovered that some of them also have many doubts-for other reasons-about the real value of what they are doing.
This evening, a few of my friends and l went to talk to our parish priest. Here is what I've retained of that session.

I discovered, first of all, that my doubts about the value of my work were nothing more than a subtle temptation to stop working. The temptation, if I do not overcome it, will weaken me to the point that, one day, l will simply decide to sit down and relax instead of continuing to move forward.
I also realized that, at the purely temporal level, l did not have a sufficient understanding of the collective and international aspects of the problems of humanity. l found out, too, that for me to be able to do something about injustices perpetrated far from where l live and work, it is enough for me to be committed where l am.
Why do we always want to be doing something other than what we are able to do and supposed to be doing? Why do we always want to go somewhere else, in the belief that we could do much better there than where we are? So far as l am concerned personally, l can say it is because of an over-active imagination inspired by a hint of good intentions. It is easy to dream, and fun to do so. Too often, l let my mind wander wherever it will. l ignore reality. Meanwhile, life goes on and passes me by without my having been able to influence it and especially without my having illuminated it with the light of love.
I was quite right in saying that often l accomplish absolutely nothing. l do nothing when l waste my time, my life and my love in dreaming about the things I could do, while ignoring the things that l should do. l am like a man in an assembly line who ignores his work and slows down the whole process of production.
The most important consequence of our meeting with our parish priest has been that I've re-examined my attitude in light of faith, and also at the level of content.

So far as the light of faith is concerned, it enables me to act in conjunction with Someone who has invited me to do so; Someone who, before me, was fighting to save mankind. l must work with him. l know this, of course; but l often forget it.
At the level of the content of my action, l spend too much time working for an entirely superficial liberation of mankind-sometimes even for a liberation which has nothing to do with man himself (1).  I l should be working for his total liberation; that is, for his freedom in his innermost being, where life has its ori gin and where, simultaneously and mysteriously, selfishness also has its origin-that selfishness which serves to alienate man from himself. At that level, only the salvation conferred by Jesus Christ can be effective. le is true that the liberation of man takes piace at different levels, and that all aspects of it are not alike. But it is equally true that liberation is accomplished by a single movement and a single struggle. For everything is bound together in the unity of a single person and a single humanity.
In that sense, it would be absurd to believe that if we struggle for the economic, social and political liberation of Our brothers, there must automatically be a change of heart in those who are struggling and in those on behalf of whom the struggle is being carried forward. The fact is that a battle may be spoiled. Often, it must be not only purified, but also saved. Commitment can be carried to its most effective conclusion only if it is a result of love and a carrier of love. And, for a Christian, it can be effective only if it is consciously lived in Christ the Savior and with him.
It would be equally absurd to believe that man can be truly freed from his selfishness if he is not committed to the struggle for his own total liberation and that of his brothers. This commitment is the only and absolute criterion of the presence of redemptive love. We can only be saved by becoming saviors.
Thus, when I have doubts about the value of my insignificant and limited work, it is because I see only one aspect of it: its tangible, visible aspect. This aspect is real, but it is not the whole of reality.
I believe in working for justice and human dignity. I believe in demonstrations, meetings, motions and petitions. I believe in pamphlets, posters and votes. I believe in wlions and political parties. I am willing to become involved in an extended and difficult struggle. But, I hesitate to stop and reappraise my commitment in the light of love. I am reluctant to spend fifteen minutes talking to the One who, in the midst of the battle and in a 'beyond' which we can see only in the light of faith, is fighting for the total liberation of man. The reason is that I do not believe enough in the power of the planted seed, in that of the leaven in a loaf of bread, or in that of love planted in the earth by the heart of divinised man. I am concerned about perfecting our technological means, but I have forgotten about love.
I sometimes wonder what would happen to the world if we lost control of atomic energy. I visualize a chain reaction, starting from a tiny almost imperceptible space and spreading until it envelops the whole of creation. But it seldom occurs to me to think of the tragic power of a small act of selfishness, a single act which spreads throughout mankind as it does its work of devitalizing the total Body of Christ. And it seldom occurs to me to think of the power of a small act of pure love, a single act, which opens the road to new blood in that Body, and which rebuilds its tissues by carrying life to the Body's most distant members. Rarely, too, do I now remember that my human actions, while they must be as well thought out as possible, as serious and as effective as possible, must also be nourished by that redeeming love.

You are the only one, Lord, who can teach me apostolic patience. You are the one who, at a particular moment in time and in a particular place, wished to become part of mankind in order to make it free and to make it into your Body. You have channeled the whole of God's eternal Love into the tiny yes of an instant's duration. 'Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass me by . . . your will be done.' And with your last breath, you said: 'Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.'
Give me the strength not to run away. It takes only one place, one instant, one single act. It will be enough for me to be there, working where you want me to work, in order to save all of mankind. So long as I am willing to welcome redeeming Love, there is no limit in space or in depth to what I can accomplish.

Lord, forgive me for working alone.
When I work alone
I see only the face of a man,
a piece of a man.
I cut man off from what he really is within himself.

Lord, forgive me for working alone.
When I work alone
I reduce my productivity,
I devalue it,
I deprive it of its revolutionary power
- of the power which,
through and beyond mankind's oppressive structures, 
reaches the heart of man and frees it from slavery.

Lord, forgive me for working alone.
When I work alone
I gradually and inexorably,
de-Christianise my work.

Tonight, I come to you once more
with my life
and my problems.
Help me to be entirely present,
honest, scrupulous, lucid and competent 
in my struggle,
No matter where,
no matter what the circumstances. 
So long as I am doing what you want me to do, 
Then, with you, I will save the world
- the heart of the world;
And, in saving the heart of the world,
I will save the heart of man.