Michel Quoist
MEET CHRIST AND LIVE!
Michel Quoist
MEET CHRIST AND LIVE!
translated by J. F.
BERNARD
GILL AND MACMILLAN
6. On God's track
I'm discouraged again.
I've don e my best to be of help to my brothers in my
personal contacts: at work, among m y neighbors at home, everywhere and with
everyone, by total commitment. I was told that I had to do this in order to be a
real Christian. I believed it. I still believe it. I had hoped that my
activities would be the beginning of an apostolic career. It seems, however,
that I've had no success at all. Just this afternoon, I was overwhelmed by the
suspicion that I was working for nothing, that I was wasting my time, that Jesus
didn' t depend on my work to reveal himself, and that the Kingdom of the Father
could be built perfectly well without me.
Thinking about it later, I discovered what had happened to crystallize my sense of discouragement. It began with a stupid sermon last
Sunday at mass. The priest' s words have been in my mind since then, making me
uneasy and giving strength to the periodic temptation to give it all up.
I don' t even know who the priest was, since he was only 'helping
out' for that weekend. I recall vividly, however, that for a solid fifteen
minutes he kept repeating that the world was rotten and that we had to withdraw
from it as quickly as possible so that we could pray and make sacrifices in
solitude. 'Above all,' he said, 'avoid the tragic mistake made by those who
plunge into the active life, and thereby ruin their interi or lives and sow only the wind
. . .'I am as shocked by that sermon today as I was on Sunday. The
people in church did not need to be urged not to give themselves to others.
Rather, they needed to be told the
At the present time, I am trying to work as hard as I can for
the salvation of my brothers. And, when I speak of salvation, I mean total
salvation. I feel certain that I should continue on this path. I would be a
hypocrite if, every night, I asked the Father to let men and society become more
just and loving, and yet refused to work during the day to make them so.
The fact that I am so often discouraged is because my work is
not sufficiently founded on faith. I struggle too much at the purely human level.
I work too much alone, without offering my work to Jesus, and, even worse,
without keeping in mind that Jesus is inviting me, in the midst of my life,
to work at his side.
Jesus did not wait for me to begin his work in the world. He
died, it is true; but then he rose from the dead. Moreover, his Holy Spirit
carne down at Pentecost, as Jesus had promised; and no one has ever said since
then that the Spirit left the earth and returned to the Father.
The risen Jesus permeates human life, but he remains hidden.
How can I know that he is really there? How can I be sure that it is not all an
illusion? First of all, because Jesus is where he promised he would be. For he
has spoken; and to 'have faith' is to believe Jesus, to accept him at his word.
I should read the gospels and listen to Jesus. He said it without reservation: 'I
am with you always; yes, to the end of time.'
He said: 'When a few of you are gathered together in my name, I will be there among you.' And whenever
I am together with my brothers in Jesus,
not only to pray but also to discuss my work in the service of mankind, I know
that Jesus is there also, because he has told me so.
After having commanded us to lave one another, Jesus said: 'If
anyone loves me he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we shall
come to him and make our home with him.' When my friends and I try to practice
brotherly love in our lives, Jesus and the Father are in us. Jesus has said so.
Jesus, speaking of the Last Judgment, told us that he had been hungry, thirsty, homeless, naked, ill, in prison.
He identified himself with the poor, with those who are poor in worldly goods,
in health, in freedom - in other words, with all those who are deprived. Whenever
I meet someone who is poor, poor in any sense of the word, it is Jesus whom I meet. Jesus
himself has told me so.
When we see a rose blooming in the middle of a thicket, we
say: A rosebush is growing there. When I see the words of the gospel blooming in
human life, faith tells me: Jesus is there, mysteriously at work in the hearts
of men.' By the same token, when I see a bit of love, of unity, of justice or of
freedom in other people, in a certain environment, in events or structures, I know that Jesus is there, present by his action among
men.
Finally, when I find sin within myself or in others, or in
the whole of life, my faith tells me that it is Jesus who is
at work there too. He is there because he has taken all sins upon himself and borne them for
us. He has bought us back. But this redemption, although fully realized two thousand years ago, is unfolding today in human history.
St Paul tells us that we are saved 'in hope'. But we are
saved every day 'in act' when we encounter our Liberator; when we open ourselves
to him and work with him.
To be a Christian means to encounter Jesus, to know him, to
believe what he has said, to love him. But it also means to recognize him in
one' s own life and to participate with him in the mystery of creation and of
his redemptive incarnation.
After a rational analysis of the situation, I joined in the
struggle in order to serve my brothers. But my outlook of faith, above and beyond my human outlook, is what allows me
to see Jesus mysteriously at work. Jesus signals to me through human events.
Thus, my own action is joined humbly to his.
Of course, I can misinterpret Jesus' signals, but there are
two ways in which I can learn to read them more accurately.
One is to discover, in the gospels, what were Jesus' ways of
doing things and of behaving. The other is to search for these ways with others,
as a team, in the Church.
The active life, therefore, is not an obstacle to an
encounter with Jesus. Rather, it is a meeting place with him. But, in the midst
of my activities, I must constantly accept Jesus' invitation to talk to him.
This is the real 'living prayer'.
How can I preach Jesus to my brothers? Often, l must accept
having to work alongside him while he remains hidden and unknown. But if I know
him and recognize him in life, if I consciously work with him, it may be that others will come to
realize that I am not working alone. Certainly, I could
speak his name. I don't want to do so too often, and I should not forget that my
role is limited to speaking of him. Only Jesus himself can reveal himself.
I must prepare the way for the Lord, and become the light on
the road by which he will come.
Lord, forgive the ignorance and the fear
of those who try to
hide in sacristies, convents and churches.
But forgive me, too,
because I know that you are with us and among us, and
I often forget it.
Lord, why must we always be looking at
the surface of things and
events
which we do not understand?
And why can't I receive your Light
in such a way that it illuminates the whole world and
every step of my way?
Why can't I be the 'seer' who discovers you, hidden, needy,
among us?
Why can't I be one of those
who gather the blossoms of the
gospel in the evening and present them to you?
Lord, make me understand
that I must not run away from the world,
since you are waiting for me in the world;
that there is no need for me to put you in contact with life,
since you are already present among men, who are my brothers;
that, far from fleeing the active life,
I should just join in your Action among men.
Grant, Lord, not that I may see the obstacles to your coming
into the world,
but above all that I may know
where to meet you,
how, to recognize your signals.
and your invitations,
and if, some day, I speak your name,
let it not be to speak of a distant, inaccessible, unknown and unknowable God,
but to introduce
you as my friend, Lord,
as my companion-in-arms,
and of course as a transcendent God,
but as God present and acting in the world.
For you have risen, Lord, and your Holy Spirit is at work
in human history
to increase your whole Body,
to build the Kingdom of the Father,
to construct your Church.
'There is one among you whom you do not know.'
I'm sorry, Lord, I didn't know it was you.
'The Kingdom of God is among you.'
Forgive me, Lord. I had forgotten.
'I am with you always; yea, to the end of time:
Again, Lord, I'm sorry. I've behaved as though
I were alone in our Father' s vineyard.